Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
what the fuck happened to the tacos
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
