I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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