i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Randomize
