when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
