Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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