I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
