You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
this will be a night to untag.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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