I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
