Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Two words: blizzard sex
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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