I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
