Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
