I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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