You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
