Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Is Oprah even human
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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