If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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