so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
