Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
