Pappa wants mamma naked
my phone needs a breathalizer
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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