I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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