Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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