I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
