Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
