areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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