Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize