She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
