You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
