you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize