Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
