Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
