i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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