I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize