Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
