saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
