The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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