we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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