The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
