if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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