The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
