I wish I could teleport
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Randomize
