What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
