Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
