when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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