Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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