doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
