I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
