CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My penis needs a shock collar
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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