No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
