Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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