rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
