look no pants
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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