Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
