guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize