Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
