i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
