fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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