i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize