Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
