Please, let me fuck your mom
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize