you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Pants 0. Shit 1.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
