He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
