Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Can you bring me the toilet please
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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