it hurts more in the daytime
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
