It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
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